1 Bad, 3 Good (with Cookies)

Remember that survey? Where it asked about your biggest cooking failure? In spite of serious competition for failures, the Gluten Roast I made for Thanksgiving one year wins the award. I think it was a VT recipe back in the late 80's and I've searched the net to find it for your entertainment pleasure, but it must have been such an embarrassment that they paid for it to disappear. For good reason. Trust me.

The "Roast" was made of raw gluten and stuffed with a traditional style stuffing before rolling it up and tying it in twine. Yeah, I bought kitchen twine for it because I desperately wanted it to be a success. First problem: the seitan (excuse me, "Gluten") wouldn't roll out. No matter how much I pulled, pushed and swore, it ended up about 6 X 8 and 2 inches thick. Sounding yummy, isn't it? Easy to fill and roll, right? Wrong. So I wrassled it into shape, tied it with twine and popped it in a casserole pan. Dump broth over it, make a foil tent, bake a couple of hours and I should be good to go. If I remember right (and it's so traumatic that I may not) it baked a couple of hours. When it came out of the oven, it looked pretty good. We pack up the car to head to my sister's and it even smells pretty good. I thought that I had triumphed in the face of gluten danger.

If it ended here, Thanksgiving would have worked out. But no. We had to cut and try to eat it in front of the omni family. Cutting it was like cutting rubber, eating it was even worse. It resembled a basketball and probably would have bounced. My brother was relentless about it and mentions it every Thanksgiving, or even just whenever I see him. I knew that I was thinking ahead when I was about 2 and threw a toy into his chin, causing him to get stitches.

I wish I could find that recipe and see how bad it is or if it was something I did. Probably a combination. We'll be having seitan this year, but I'm not sure how I'll prepare it. I hope I don't have to punch my brother out.

Just to prove I really can cook....sometimes....

Check out today's breakfast: Blueberry Corn Pancakes from Veganomicon.

Last night's dinner was this great tester dish from One Chubby Vegan called Pasta a la Things. Yummy and mushroomy, with fresh herbs and lemon. And she knows how to use garlic. No vampires coming near us. Or any people, for that matter. Good thing we're reclusive.


Up top are cookies. I like to start with cookies. Everything is better with cookies. Those are Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies from Autumn Vegan and Garrick. Have I mentioned how much I love them? Not a single one of their recipes has disappointed me yet. Check out the perfect ooohy gooeyness of those chips.

Tonight's dinner is going to be my favorite chili ever, the Chili sin Carne Mole from VwaV. I can hardly wait. In the meantime, I'm off to have some cookies.